November 22, 2009
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Makin’ memories of us
Friday afternoon we picked up MK from school and drove up to LaFayette to see the farm where the job is that Doug applied for. He was interviewed by the woman who owns the farm and we got to look around the house that we may be living in.
Doug should hear sometime early this week whether he has the job. They told him there were two more to be interviewed first before they made a decision about who got the job. Since then we have been making tentative plans for moving should he get the job. I have been walking around here seeing things that I have seen everyday for 26+years for the first time. Savoring Ian in the shop working on his truck and talking about his plans for the farm when it is his.
Spending precious time with Doug as he goes about his daily tasks of getting caught up on the chores that mean home to us. If he gets the job our time together will be at a premium again and the past few years will be only a memory. The mornings that I have enjoyed waking in his arms instead of hours after he has been to work will be a dream instead of a reality. The quiet and peaceful times of unhurried afternoon and evening walks will be moments that I take out to consol myself with when I miss his presence.
Watching Matthew doing his schoolwork and realizing, maybe for the first time, that his time here with me at home is growing short, dangerously so.
Jolly and carefree times out in the crisp fall nights laughing together and simply enjoying each other’s company.
Time spent with dear friends who are no longer friends but more like members of the family. These times that are all familiar and yet have become so new to me. New because of the urgency that seems to dominate our lives at this time. Urgency to find out about this job, urgency to move and get settled. Urgency to move on to the next phase in life. And the greatest urgency of all, to hang on to the here and now, and knowing that it cannot be done. This urgency is the most painful of all because we know it cannot be accomplished so we try to wring out all the pleasure and memories and joy and love from every second before they flee from us in a puff of smoke and ash.
Comments (3)
I’m sorry. I simply don’t know what to say.
But I’m thinking of you.
It is hard but I know everything will work out for all of you. Know that you didn’t make this decision without a lot of thought and there are times when we just have to do what has to be done and bloom where we are planted. Blessings to you and yours!
I was wondering how you would handle moving…Praying for you.