Go by Peggy's,  http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/, and read the other entries in today's daybook.

Outside my window..........  It is winter again. It snow a lot in the night and now it is blowing and cold.  There's an old saying, "If you don't like the weather in New York State, just wait a few minutes and it will change"  well it did.

I am thinking.......... The day is half gone since Matthew and I both overslept.  But how nice it is to get up and have the whole house to myself.  There is something particularly quiet about a new snowfall that I do enjoy.

I am thankful for......... the weekend that we just had and the family that God has given to me.  My beautiful and thoughtful daughter, my strong, handsome and attentive son, my quiet but always there husband.

From the schoolroom........ silence.  My student is still in his bed "dreaming sweet dreams without care" to quote Dr. Seusse.  Today and tomorrow are going to be busy for me so my other student isn't coming but a lot of learning has to happen here before I go into the hospital next Monday.

From the kitchen..........  leftovers, leftovers, and more leftovers.  I have to make red sauce and white sauce and meatballs for our Christmas Eve dinner so that MK and OBrien can make the lasagna.  Lists need to be made for the shopping for Christmas Days' food too.  I took a survey about what to have for Christmas Day because I will be layed up and there was a resounding "we will do it!" anything else it untraditional.  I think I got the idea of tradition firmly across to these people.

I am wearing........... navy blue long john pants, a black Cobleskill soccer shirt and fluffy slippers.  Haven't showered and gotten ready for the day yet.

I am creating..........  a very Christmasy looking home here.  Doug and Matthew started decking these halls last night.  I think I will put out my collection of nativity sets and leave the village for MK to do since she loves that so much.

I am going............ to noon Mass for the holy day since I overslept and can't make 8:00.  I have to go to the Dr. for my pre-operative screening also.  I might try to get to New Hartford later to take the packages to the radio station for the santas for seniors program.  If the weather cooperates

I am reading........... The First Patient by Michael Palmer, Plato's Republic

I am hoping........... that I get everything on my list for this week done so that my mind can be at relative ease about going into the hospital next Monday.

I am hearing........... the sounds of birds outside the window in the bushes and silence inside the house.

Around the house........... it is dark and quiet.  There is a fire dancing merrily in the woodstove beside me and I know another one in the furnace downstairs.  What a thoughtful husband I have who thinks to make a fire so that I will be warm when I get out of bed in the morning.

One of my favorite things..........about this time of year is sitting in the evenings with the lights all off except the Christmas lights and the candles and remembering Christmas's past and listening to the ghosts of family members who inhabit the house play out their dance of Christmas cheer

A few plans for the rest of the week........ Mass and Dr appt today, two dr appt tomorrow and my class, finish one more Christmas present, take the packages to the radio station, dr appt on Thursday and my class, holy hour on Friday and finish it all up and have the house cleaned and the laundry all caught up by Monday early so I can go into the hosp in peace. (relative)

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...........

This is how you "fluff" garland before hanging it.  I guess the job of decking the halls wasn't strenuous enough.  Matthew sat on the gym so he could lift some weights if he felt the need while fluffing the garland in preparation for hanging it.

This was THE most dreadful part of weight loss for me.  Always has been, always will be.  Exercise.  I am no athlete.  I dislike sweating or being sweaty.  I cannot see the point of simply exercising.  This is not to say that I am or ever have been a couch potato but I prefer my movements to be purposeful.  Example:  I have a treadmill but all the time that I am on it I cannot wait to get off.  Conversely I can hike in the woods for miles and miles and not realize how far I have gone.  But it is a necessary evil so here is what I did to lose my weight.

First off I started doing everything myself.  Sound strange?  Well all of you moms out there own up that when you can you will send Jr. for that magazine or upstairs to take the laundry and put it away.  I did the same thing.  Now I do it all my self.  I needed something, I went for it myself instead of sending one of the kids.  And I started taking the stairs.  By that I mean that I stopped being so efficient when I picked up around here.  I used to make a pile of things at the bottom of the stairs and take it all up at once.  Now I make a trip up and down everytime I have something that needs to be put away upstairs.  That alone increased my trips up and down the stairs by 500 percent. 

Then I stole time from my day, which is not easy, and started walking.  In the beginning it was not far since I was so big I couldn't go far before I got winded and had to rest.  But I walked.  I started walking the 1/4 mile from our house to my father in laws house and back.  I did that for two weeks until I noticed that I wasn't puffing so much.  Then I gradually increased it until now I can walk what we call the big block which is a 6 mile walk round trip. 

I bought exercise videos and involved my kids in doing them. Tae Bo was my favorite.  I never got past the basic workout but I can do it with great intensity.  My husband bought a 100 pound bag and hung it in the garage.  I took to working with that a couple of days a week.  Even now Matthew and I will go out there and spend some time with the bag.  It's really a lot of fun.  I bought a pair of ankle weights and strapped them on in the morning and wore them all day long to increase the intensity of my walks. 

I started really helping out around here unloading hay and splitting and stacking wood.  To this day unloading hay is my favorite workout if I have to workout at all. 

My point of all of this is that I didn't go to a gym to exercise.  I cannot afford it.  I simply looked for daily activities that could be turned into workouts or I increased the activities that I was doing already that kept me moving.  I also became committed to stealing time from my day, everyday, not just a few day a week, to walk.  I have a bike now and I will bike when the weather is fine.  Sometimes when I walked I would get my husband to walk with me.  If we had a foster child at the time I would put the baby in the sling or the stroller and take the baby with me.  I even recruited my kids to do exercise videos, as I said. 

I didn't weigh myself to check my progress.  I weighed myself at the beginning and I measured my waist, chest, thighs, and biceps.  I recorded these measurments.  Then once a month I redid these measurments and recorded them.  I also kept track of how my clothing fit.  The other thing that I did was to go out and buy an outfit in my goal size that was slightly pricey.  That outfit hung in the front of my closet where I could see it everyday.  It was a great motivator because I knew I had spent far too much on it to fail and also the farther away I got from the purchase date the less I was going to be able to take it back so I had to get to fit into it. 

Then there was the encouragement from my husband but that is for the final post.

Okay, now you have the preparation down and it is time to start losing pounds and pounds, right?  Wrong.  The next step, for me was the absolute worst.  I had to learn how to eat.  When I was in college and afterward I was the typical "girl" eater.  I would get up in the morning and skip breakfast.  Then I would eat a light lunch, after all everyone at school was there with me watching me eat and I didn't want them to see me eating everything in sight.  Then came supper and by then I was starving.  I would eat whatever there was for supper and then snack until I went to bed, effectively making up for whatever good I thought I might have been doing by skipping breakfast and eating lightly at lunch.  Not too bright. 

I had to learn how to eat properly.  Not only did I have to learn portion control but I had to learn when to eat and what to eat.  So the next thing to do is to spend a week writing down everything that you eat.  When you eat it and how you eat it, and why did you eat it.  Again you may ask, why is this important.  You need to know what you are doing wrong and how you are doing it before you can correct it. 

Now time for me to "lay bare my soul" when it comes to eating.  My food demons are:  pasta, bread especially bagals and my own homemade bread, potatoes, and rice.  These foods do two things to me.  They break down my self control until there is none left and I can single handedly eat a whole loaf of bread when it comes out of the oven without any help.  Or I can consume a whole pound of spaghetti with meatballs and my award winning marinara sauce without blinking an eye.  The second thing that these foods do is slow down the functioning of my internal organs.  In other words they mess with my regularity.  Why is that important?  Because the longer food stays in your system the more "benefit" your body takes from it.  I don't mean that everyone needs to have diarrhea all of the time but we all should be eliminating regularly. 

I also had to identify the situations associated with eating that were contributing to my addiction.  For me these are things like driving into town by myself (access to fast food joints without family members knowing), eating in front of the TV, having prepared foods in the house and available to me, eating by myself at home where there was no one there to own up to about my portions or what I was eating.

Now that I had identified these problems with my eating habits it was time to develop an eating plan.  I already had the support of my husband and children.  They knew that I would not be preparing special foods for me if I could avoid it.  I was determined not to "diet" but to learn how to eat properly so I had to stay away from "special" foods that I wouldn't be eating for the rest of my life.  They also knew that there were certain family favorites that we would be doing without until mom could gain a little control over her eating habits.

I am not a breakfast eater and never have been so that is the most difficult meal for me.   But it is truly the most important meal of the day.  When you get up in the morning you have to consume something to get your metabolism going.  I do believe it must be true because my husband consumes a huge breakfast everyday and the man's weight has fluctuated by one pound in all of our married life.  My answer to the breakfast problem was to replace that meal with a high protein shake.  It answered the problem of having to consume something in the morning, it was high in protein low in fat and I made the shake with cranberry juice so it was also low in sugar. The whole calorie count was about 240 calories. 

Lunch, which was also our large meal, being dairy farmers, was a simple affair.  I cut out making any kind of casseroles and started making simple meals of meat, potatoes or rice and vegetables and a salad.  There was is always two or three vegetables and a green salad of some kind with lunch.  Then when I filled my plate I avoided the potatoes or rice and took the vegetables and the meat.  I used a smaller plate than the dinner plates than the rest of the family uses so that I didn't feel I had to fill the plate up.  My choices of drink was always water, cranberry juice, ginger ale, lemon aide, or iced tea.  I do not believe in buying diet drinks because I feel that they encourage you to drink more because it says diet on it.  Also I don't think the artificial sweeteners that they use aren't good for you. 

Supper was always before 6:00 and consisted of a bowl of cereal or another protein shake, or a granola bar.  Believe it or not, I ate so well at lunch time that I was usually not hungry for supper.  Before bed I allowed myself a bowl of popcorn for a snack if I felt I needed it.

There were no special "diet" foods.  I bought no low fat anything for cooking with.  My family wasn't going to have to change their eating habits and beside that this was supposed to be a lesson that I was going to be using for the rest of my life.  I have a philosophy when I cook, I use only real ingredients and I don't plan on changing.

The last thing that I did was that on the weekend I didn't diet.  I ate the way I wanted, within reason, on the weekend.  I didn't go crazy but I did have a bagal on Sunday, for instance and a slice of pizza on Saturday night.  I also got into the habit of keeping a bottle of water with me at all times.  I learned to drink much more water than I had ever done before.  I think consuming water is the second most important key to weight loss after a healthy and regular prayer life.  Beware, though, at first before your body gets used to it, you will be in the bathroom far more than you want to be.  But after awhile you will get used to it and you won't have to go so often.

There are those who think that consuming vast amounts of raw vegetables is key to weight loss, it helps but it's not key.  There are those who think that you have to starve yourself or deprive yourself, this is not true either.  I think that the key is moderation.  Balance the amount that you eat with how much exercise you get that day and then eat a little less and you will do just fine.  But exercise is the topic of another post.

It's not easy and it isn't fast.  This explanation is going to sound like AA at times, I've never been, and it's going to sound like boot camp at times, never been there either.  For those of you who messaged me about how I did it, I'll give you the whole skinny (pardon the pun), but first I want everyone to stop giving me kudos for being anything but selfish and determined to do something for myself and to feed my pride.  The more noble reasons came along during the process, and I'll tell you why as I go along.

The first thing that I did was sit down with my husband and talk with him about what I wanted to accomplish and what I thought I wanted to do to get there.  We also talked about the role that he would play in this whole adventure.  This is essential to weight loss, I think.  Discuss it with someone who is going to be there for the whole process.  Ideally a spouse is you have one.  Someone who knows you the best and who is going to be honest with you.  The next big and most important thing is honesty.  Be honest with yourself and with your spouse. 

By honest I don't mean with how much you weigh and how much you want to lose, although that is important.  But be honest with your reactions and what you expect of them.  If you want them to help you with portion control at mealtimes then don't get offended and ignore them when they do their job.  If you want them to encourage you about exercise then take their encouragement and act on it, don't get all bent out of shape when they say that you haven't worked out in three days or that you just cut your workout time short and you need to go a little longer like you planned.  That is the kind of honesty that I mean.  That was one of my major obstacles.  I knew that I was fat.  I knew what parts of me were the worst to look at.  But don't tell me about it 'cause I would have probably taken a swing at you and I have a formidable right hook.  No joke!!!!!

The next big thing is to bring your spiritual life into line.  What has this got to do with weight loss you may ask?  EVERYTHING!!!!!!  I cannot emphasize that enough.  I am not a bible scholar but it says countless times and countless ways in the bible that God won't give you anything that you cannot do without His help and that nothing is impossible with Him.  Even now I see a direct correlation between my prayer life and how well I keep up with the housework, control my eating, keep up with exercise, stay on top of Matthew's school work, and everything else in my life.  In order to lose weight by whatever program that you use, you first have to have a regular prayer life, or if you don't want to call it that, devotion time.  God sends his graces in abundance when you ask for them regularly.  The analogy that I use with my kids is that you have to keep reminding God that you want and need his help, not that he needs to be reminded but that you need to be reminded.

The last preliminary is that you must involve your whole family.  That doesn't mean to publish the fact that you are on a big weight loss program so be nice to me and don't cook anything good while I am doing this.  But rather, please be patient with me, pray for me, encourage me, let me know when I am being a jerk about it, and otherwise treat me like a normal person but this time it is going to work because this time I have God on my side.  Yes, you will stumble, you will trip and fall, you will have times when you gain instead of lose, but overall you will be succeeding because this time you have chosen to succeed.

More to come.

About 10 years ago I weighed in at 320 lbs.  Then I made up my mind that I was going to actually lose the extra weight.  My sons were going to graduate from high school and I was facing the graduation party thing and having to have people here in large quantities.  We were going to more places with the kids and I was being left behind more and more because mom couldn't keep up with the family when they went on hikes.  I didn't want my children to be ashamed of their mother when they had their friends home from college or wherever they went after highschool.  The straw that finally broke the camels back, so to speak, was my youngest brother's wedding.  A picture was taken of myself with my six brothers and my sister and there I was absolutely huge among all of them. 

Whatever the reason I began my odyssey into serious diet and exercise.  I am still on the journey and will be for the rest of my life since I am a food addict and will always be.  I have not had a serious relapse, I am proud to say but that doesn't mean that it won't happen at some point in the future.  But I have reached a milestone that I am very proud of.  I am now able to go "shopping" for clothes in my daughter's closet.

Jeans and blouse courtesy of MK!!!!!!!  I still have about 20 lbs left to go to hit my goal but I feel happy that the huge body is far behind me.  Mentally I still see her when I look in the mirror but with the help of my loving husband (who tells me how small I am when he puts his arms around me) and my wonderful daughter who is so encouraging, I can make it.

1.  weather----summer, the hotter the better

2.  eggs----can't stand them

3.  movies--- anything but horror

4.  showers----prefer baths but cannot get in and out without help

5.  sex-----I'm female thank you

6.  parties-----with good friends

7.   drinks-----beer, dry wine, margharitas

8.  hair---- short without fuss

9.  dates-----no need

10.  kisses-----hersheys thank you

11.  cars-----anything made by dodge with four wheel drive

12.  clothes----- jeans and casual

13.  music---- classic rock, country, classical, folk, just about anything that is actually music

14.  bed-----king size with lots of pillows

15.  airplane seat-----window and leave me alone with my book

16.  Sunday afternoon------time spent with family

17.  steak----allergic to beef

18.  vacations----anywhere there is mountains, big trees and hiking trails

19.  coffee-----not unless you like to see me hyper

20.  friends-----only a few special ones

21.  porn-----can't see the point

22.  books----mystery thrillers, philosophy, theology, history

23.  workouts-----my life is a workout

24.  movie endings-----don't let me down

25.  gadgets-----stay away from them

26.  boobs-----I can do without them

27.  pizza-----I'm told I make the best, has to be loaded with everything except pepperoni

28.  girl's pubic hair---- give me a break

29.  oysters-----anyway you fix them

30.  video games-----waste of time, money and effort

31.  chicken-----chicken parmesan on a bed of angel hair

32.  milk----- raw, fresh from the cow

33.  humor-----absolute necessity

34.  computer desktop----Madonna of the streets

35.  ice cream----Ben and Jerrys pistachio pistachio

36.  dirty talk-----what's the point?

37.  peanut butter------allergic to it

38.  bagels-----broiled with slices of tomato, basil leaves, and fresh mozarella cheese

39.  snacks-----nachos and my neighbors salsa which is to die for

40.  women-----make me want to scream sometimes

That's how I like it.

in the immortal words of Jacob Marley......."It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide; and if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death.  It is doomed to wander through the world and witness what it cannot share, but might have shared on earth, and turned to happiness!"

"Oh! captive, bound, and double-ironed, not to know, that ages of incessant labour, by immortal creatures, for this earth must pass into eternity before the good of which it is susceptible is all developed.  Not to know that any Christian spirit working kindly in its little sphere, whatever it may be, will find its mortal life too short for its vast means of usefulness.  Not to know that no space of regret can make amends for one life's opportunity misused!  Yet such was I! Oh! such was I!"

"Mankind was my business.  The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business.  The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!"

"At this time of the rolling year I suffer most.  Why did I walk through crowds of fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise Men to a poor abode! Were there no poor homes to which its light would have conducted me!"  

So there I was in my kitchen cooking......... this is the way my older son would often start a conversation when he is being his usual goofy self, but this time I'm not being goofy.  So there I was in my kitchen cooking when the telephone rang.  It was my son Jason but it took me a bit to realize that it was him.  The voice was barely there and scratchy.  I asked him what was wrong and he gave me his list of symptoms and said "what do I do?"  So what's a mother to do?  I told him to climb into bed with all his covers on and with something to drink and I would call him back in a few minutes.

Four hours and at least a dozen phone calls later and there I was in the emergency room with my son Jason.  The diagnosis; bad sinus infection and strep throat with a migraine headache.  He's hooked up to an IV getting massive doses of antibiotics with some serious pain meds on board. 

Consequently no school work got done, by me, yesterday.  No sewing, cleaning, or writing.  Matthew finished the laundry and made all of the beds while I went to Cobleskill to pick up Jason and bring him home. 

Today's plans?  School, sewing, cleaning, and writing along with taking care of Jason.  He is one sick puppy and needs some serious care. 

Outside my window..... it is rainy and windy.  The temp is 35 and it is not going to get any warmer.  Looks like another dreary day.  The weather is sad that the kids have all left too?

I am thinking...... that I should be writing out Matthews plans for the day so that he can get started with his school work.  I should also be starting the laundry and getting the kitchen cleaned up.

I am thinking...... what a great time I had last week.  It was so good to have the house almost full.  I am looking forward to Christmas vacation when they will all be home again.  To quote my friend Ellen, "you are going to have the holiest Advent, between looking forward to having them all home and having surgery.  God is truly blessing you."  She couldn't be more right.

From the schoolroom....... Matthew is getting out his school books.  I think it is a big hint that it is time for me to swing into action.

From the kitchen....... cereal for breakfast, maybe toasted cheese for lunch and pork chops for supper.

I am going...... to pick up Brett for Spanish and Biology, to take Matthew shopping this afternoon after school is over, and to pick up Ian so he can use my car in between.

I am reading...... A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens  It is my annual Advent reading.  It is also one of my favorite storys.

I am hoping...... the weather stays nice for my drive to Syracuse Thursday.  Need to go for a CT scan to measure for hardware for my back.

Around the house..... MK left it pretty clean this weekend that here is hardly anything to do.  I think we will do a little dusting later and get the wood box filled and sweep the kitchen and then we will be done.

A few plans for the rest of the week...... complete my contributions for the craft sale at church, purchase and wrap the gift for the giving tree, finish buying the items for the boxes for the troops,  get out the Christmas ornaments in preparation for doing some decorating on Sunday. 

A picture thought that I am sharing with you...........

Thanksgiving day at our friends house.  Matthew, Jonathan, Juliana, and Mary-Kate.  They are all barely tolerating me taking their picture.  Actually they are just behaving.  A moment before they had all been wrestlinig with each other.  They are all good friends and have a good time together.