May 13, 2008

• Mother’s and Daughters

  The relationship between a mother and a daughter is a very special thing.  Different even than that between, say a father and a son or a mother and a son.  There is a bond there that is forged from mutual knowing.  Knowing what each other’s bodies and minds are feeling and doing.  When I was having my babys I so dreaded having a girl for this very reason.  I had never been close like this with another woman before and was clueless about how to raise a girl-child properly.  Having grown up with six brothers and one sister, a sister that I had never been particularly close to, I had a great fear that I would raise a daughter to make the mistakes that I had made and to have inside her the insecurities that I posessed.  (not a good thing).  Boys were not a mystery.  Maybe not easy but not a mystery.  Their emotions did not spill over at the slightest provocation and I could deal with that.  They like to dig in the dirt and get dirty and I can deal with that too. 

  

  After four boys I thought that maybe I was safe but then she came along.  I’ll never forget when I was carrying her and my second son wanted a sister so bad that that was all he could talk about.   At one dr’s visit I took all the boys so they could hear the babys heartbeat.  The dr. had them all lined up in the examining room and hooked me up to the monitor for the big moment.  Number two son looked up at him and right out of the blue, (he had never even met the man before this moment), said ” I don’t like you because you never bring me sisters.  All you ever bring me is brothers.”  Well, this dr. being a family man himself took it like a man and said he would do his best to bring him a sister this time. 

  

  Five months later when his sister was born four weeks premature you can bet that my son was the happiest boy alive.  When we brought her home from the hospital and he helped me to change her diaper for the first time he changed his tune about that dr. though.  He looked shocked at the baby and said “Take the baby back she is broken”  Now you must remember that he is used to helping me change the diapers of baby boys.  He didn’t know what to expect with a baby girl.  That was a teachable moment if ever there was one.  Once we got that straightened out he was happy with his sister and they have been good friends ever since. 

  Now for me she has often been a joy, and a pain, a mystery and an open book.  There have been times when we have been enemies and allies against the men.  She has been my helper and my care giver.  Looking back I don’t know why I was so nervous about having her.  Mind I don’t think that I would take a whole bunch. (I have a friend who has seven daughters)  I know my patience level.  But I can honestly say that Mary-Kate and I are more friends than mother and daughter now and it feels good. 

  

  When people tell me that she looks like me I am flattered beyond words because I don’t ever remember being so beautiful.  She is that too.  Both beautiful inside and out.  She is truly a child of God.  Her heart if for serving God through serving her fellow man.  More times than I can count she has responded to others with a tenderness and thoughtfulness that is beautiful to behold.  She is a true reflection of what budding Catholic womanhood should be.  She isn’t perfect by any means and she isn’t done yet, but who is.  But she is well on the way to being the flower that God wants her to be.  When He harvests her and brings her home to His garden in heaven he will be pleased and proud to add her to his lovely bouquet there.

  I love you Mary-Katherine and am proud of you.

  • 4:19 am
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