Yesterday we had to rush Mary-Kate to her back specialist.  She was horsing around with her brothers when we got our Christmas tree and ended up falling down.  We thought that the fall was soft enough because the snow was deep but apparantly not.  She ended up in a lot of pain and needed x-rays.  Fortunately her surgical site is just fine and nothing has been damaged.  But she hyper-extended her back and is now back in her brace for the next four weeks.  She is not happy about that needless to say.  Think she will learn to be careful?

Merry Christmas to all.  My wish for all is to have the Christmas that I am enjoying at this very moment.  My husband and all but one of my children about me.  All are healthy and well.  We went to Mass last night and again this morning and offered back to Our Lord and God the best and only gift that is pleasing and acceptable, the holy sacrifice of the Mass.  We all knelt in prayer before the tabernacle and adored the Lord and gave thanks for His Incarnation for it is this that was the beginning of our redemption.  All else is meaningless without the Incarnation.   Now today we celebrate not only the birth of Jesus in the stable at Bethlehem, but also each other and our being together.  We celebrate our family, the love that we have for each other and the fact that God gave us to each other to assist each other in our journey to heaven. 

Thank you Lord for your gift of my family, for my life and faith in you.  May I always stay close to you.  Give me the grace to persevere in your service and the praise of you. Amen

He's on his way home!!!!!!!! His ship got into port and he is in his car as we speak driving home for the holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We are doing

everything but killing the fatted calf. (onlybecause we don't have one, otherwise we would)  Everyone in this   house is almost as excited as the mother is. We haven't seen Adam since April when we drove to Norfolk to see his ship dock after being out to sea for 6months.  He hasn't been home since his granfather's funeral in September of 2006.  No wonder everyone is excited.  It is going to be an exceptional Christmas in this house.  The only other thing this mother would like for Christmas she can't have so I guess I am content.  Thank you God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As we approach the first anniversary of our fire I thought it was time for me to look at these pictures and begin to really face what has happened to our lives and to take some stock of the changes that have occurred.

The above photo was taken by someone who drove down the road during the fire. It shows the cow barn gone and the heifer barn fully involved.  You can see my daughter and a friends son running behind the horse barn.  During the fire the heifers that were saved ran wild for awhile and they worked to round them up so they could be loaded into cattle trucks and taken to other area farms to be housed in friends and neighbors barns.

 The man driving the cat loader worked into the night and the next day putting out hot spots and then burying the cows that perished in the fire.  Then he pushed the debris into a pile over the hill that sits behind where the barn was.

Piles and piles of hay smoldered for two weeks while the insurance company twiddled their thumbs deciding what they were going to do.  The town, which in almost three miles away suffered the effects of the smoke while this was going on.  All the neighbors were suffering the most.

 This '53 Chevy Belair was housed in the side of the heifer barn.  Jason had bought it the summer before for $300.  He was going to restore it little by little.  It was in remarkable shape.  It was totally destroyed by the fire.  The next day he took the backhoe and demolished it and took out his anger and frustration out on the car.  How I wish I could have done the same thing.  But an 18 year-old can do that and get away with it but a 45 year-old mother has to be strong and not show so much negative emotion. 

Now there will be no more cows milked on this farm, at least not by this generation.  Things cost too much.  My husband is very upbeat and his faith is such that I don't think that it lets him face anything but optimism over this whole happening.  Unfortunately I have always been the practical one in the family.  Although I am now optimistic since he has finally gotten a job, I can't help but let myself now mourn over what was lost.  Not the material, but the way of life.  It was a good way.  It was how we raised our children.  Always having their father available to them.  Having many if not most of the lessons of life constantly available to them at all times.  We were here and able to raise most of what we needed to live.  When things got tough we could just produce a little more food, cut a little more wood for the furnace, make more of our clothing, do whatever we needed to save some money and we got by.  Now that is changed.  Now we have to worry about how we are going to make this land pay for itself so that we can keep it for the generation to come. 

Prayers that we find a way. 

Here is something to contemplate, the youngest child and how to raise him without spoiling? him. My oldest have commented at various times that I am getting soft and that Matthew is spoiled. That I am not as firm with him as I was with them. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. I know that personality wise he is a totally different child and that age wise I am a different person. (does that make sense?)

Anyway, last night I had reason to think about all of this as we went door to door on our street and through the town delivering plates of cookies and Christmas treats to neighbors and friends. It was icy out so Doug wouldn't let Mary-Kate or I get out at several houses. So the plan was for the two of them to trade off going to the door and leaving the plate, say a few words and wish the family a Merry Christmas. Matthew was reluctant to say the least. His first comment was that he was only going to the houses of the people that he knows. Well he knew everyone on the list so that was a useless comment. Then he was only going to the houses of those that he chose. Well, he was being a brat, may I say about the whole thing, when we made the first stop at the home of an old lady down the street. Her husband has recently been put into a nursing home. All of my boys have taken care of her in some way since she moved in down the road. From helping with the building of her house to taking care of her lawn and gardens they have done for her for all the years that she has lived in this house. Well we made Matthew go to her door because he is currently her "man of all work" since he is the only boy left at home. She had tears in her eyes when she came to the door, as she usually does. She was so thankful for the attention and the caring that the plate of cookies represented. When Matthew came back to the car he no longer made any comments about where he would go and wouldn't go. He accompanied his father to all the doors and even expressed a bit of disappointment over the houses where no one was at home.
So, maybe I am not as firm, maybe not. But my spoiled? youngest is learning important lessons that will carry him through life and I hope that the sight of this dear old lady with tears of gratitude in her eyes will stay with him for all his life. You can watch movies with touching plots and important lessons but these things are best taught with experience. I think that Matthew is more differently raised than spoiled. I think that he is benefitting from more maturity on my part that his siblings didn't enjoy and for this I am sorry.
For this reason I will continue providing Matthew with experiences like he had last evening to build his character and make him the kind of person that God expects him to be.

Here we are the day after the big snow storm.  Yesterday there was a snowday and the public school kids had the day off from school.  In the morning was too cold and windy and snowy really to do anything fun.  But by afternoon it was like you see here. 

 So Mary-Kate, Lupus and I went out to look in on the pigs and to take a little walk.  The snow that had fallen in the night was light and fluffy.  You can't make snowballs with it but it is neat to walk in. 

Lupus got a kick out of nipping at the snow.  Here is a shot down the road.  The sky looks a little ominous.  It did start to snow a little later on.  It is sure pretty when the snow comes down and covers up everyting.  All the piles of dirt that we made when we put  electricity across the road are all covered up with the snow now and it looks so clean.

A shot of the barn with the pigs and calves in it after the sun came out.  It has been almost a year since the fire and I think that God sent all this snow to help the healing.  That some of us need the snow to cover up the scars that remain and to continue the healing process. 

Matthew finished the last of his Christmas sewing yesterday.  Here is the western-style shirt that he made for Jason.  Jason is going to be very surprised when he opens this package.  He likes everything western.  He has been wanting a shirt like this for awhile.  Matthew truly did make this.  All I did was advise him and hand tack the front bands down and the collar band down.  He did all the rest including putting on the snaps and setting in the sleeves.  I am very proud of him. 

Yesterday we got 6 inches more snow.  I think that we can say without a doubt that it is going to be a white Christmas here. 

 The national weather service is calling for a blizzard in the northeast.  We are supposed to be measuring our snow fall in feet not inches.  Our snow accumulation is supposed to be up to 3 feet.  The only thing that is good for is staying home which is not a bad thing in my book.  I think that I will make a pot of chicken noodle soup and a baking of bread and settle in with a good movie.  My family likes that idea too.

Last night I made the dough for the traditional

family nut roll.  This is a Christmas treat that my family has been enjoying all my life.  My father has been making it for us for as long as I can remember.  Now that he lives in South Carolina and I still live in New York, though, I have to make it myself in order to be able to enjoy it still.

Now, I have never been one to keep the pleasure of cooking all to myself.  Especially this year since I have to be on bedrest with a bad back.  So here is my husband and youngest son, Matthew, rolling out the dough and spreading on the nut filling.

Here are some of the lovely nut rolls ready to be put in the oven.  We have neighbors and friends who look forward every year to the gift of home baking that we make to them.  It of course always includes some of our nut roll.

Sunday, weather permitting we will make the rounds of neighbors and friends distributing the goodies that we have prepared.  Oh, the beauty of traditions. 

Hey, PO Brien, do you see all these cookies?  I baked them all by myself!!!!!!!!!!!! and I'm not even a grandma.  What do you think of that?