November 8, 2007
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We have a new neighbor and he often has some funny or interesting, or thought provoking things posted on his refrigerator. This was one of them (take your pick). Now I am not often the sharpest knife in the drawer but I certainly did laugh at some of these. Take them as you will.
(Disclaimer: I don’t particularly care for Larry the cable guy but I did like his portrayal of Mater in the movie Cars)
WISDOM OF LARRY THE CABLE GUY
1. A day without sunshine is like night
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot
4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the hell happened?”
22. Just remember–if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Comments (2)
Some of these are pretty funny. I like the one about the other hand. Its kind of like my shoe, which is sometimes on the other foot.
When did you ever know me to be afraid of getting dirty? I think I am right in saying that it was a natural state of affairs for me, not learned behavior. Adam was the one who hated the great out doors and sat in the yard crying all day.